Returning to work after losing a loved one can be a tough and emotional process. Work can offer a sense of routine and normalcy, but going back while still grieving can feel overwhelming (Gilbert and Kelloway, 2021).

It’s common for people to feel pressured to hide their emotions at work, and sometimes, well-meaning colleagues and managers might give them “space,” which can unintentionally make them feel isolated when they need support the most (Pitimson, 2021). It’s important for everyone at work to understand the role they play in supporting someone who is grieving and staying connected during this time.

In the UK, compassionate leave allows people to take time off after the death of a close family member or loved one. This gives them the necessary time to grieve and handle important arrangements before returning to work. While there’s no law requiring employers to offer paid leave for bereavement (except for parental bereavement), many companies provide a few days, either paid or unpaid, to support their employees. The exact details of this leave can vary, so it’s important to talk to your employer about your needs and see if there’s flexibility and extra support available (ACAS, 2024).

Even after taking compassionate leave, the thought of returning to work can be daunting. This blog post offers practical tips to help make the transition smoother and ensure that you have the support you need during this difficult time.

Preparing for the return as an employee

Set realistic expectations: It’s important to be kind to yourself when returning to work. Productivity and emotional resilience might fluctuate, and that’s okay. It’s a good idea to talk to your employer about your current situation so they can offer the right support.
Consider a gradual return: If possible, think about easing back into work with part-time hours or by starting with less demanding tasks. This can help you get back into the swing of things without feeling overwhelmed by a full workload right away.

Communication

Talk about your needs: Open communication is key. Let your employer know what might help you during this transition, whether it’s flexible hours, a lighter workload, or the option to work from home.
Make a return-to-work plan: Work together with your employer to create a plan that outlines how you’ll transition back to work. This can help reduce any anxiety and ensure everyone is on the same page.
Keep colleagues informed: If possible, let your colleagues know about your return and any changes in your schedule or workload. This can help manage their expectations and encourage understanding within the team.
Show empathy and acknowledge the loss: It’s important for colleagues and managers to treat someone who has experienced a loss with empathy and kindness. Don’t avoid the topic—acknowledging the loss and allowing the person to share memories can be an important part of their healing process.

Seeking professional support

Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs): If your workplace offers an Employee Assistance Program, consider using it. These programs often provide counselling and emotional support, which can be very helpful during your return to work.
Grief counselling: If you’re struggling with your emotions or finding it hard to cope with grief, consider seeking grief counselling or therapy. Professional support can offer strategies to help you manage your feelings. Organisations like Cruse and Sue Ryder offer low-cost or free counselling services.

Returning to work after losing a loved one is a personal journey, and it’s important to approach it with empathy and patience. By setting realistic expectations, communicating openly, and seeking support, you can make the transition smoother. Remember, it’s okay to take your time to adjust and to ask for the help you need. Your well-being matters, and finding a balance between work and self-care will help you through this challenging time.

References

Gilbert, S. L., & Kelloway, E. K. (2021). Grief in the workplace. The SAGE handbook of organizational wellbeing, 282-300.
Pitimson, N. (2021). Work after death: an examination of the relationship between grief, emotional labour, and the lived experience of returning to work after a bereavement. Sociological Research Online, 26(3), 469-484.
Leave and pay when someone dies – Time off work for bereavement – Acas. (2024, August 1). Acas. https://www.acas.org.uk/time-off-for-bereavement#:~:text=Time%20off%20for%20a%20funeral&text=This%20time%20off%20might%20be,employee’s%20contract%20or%20organisation’s%20policy